The Good Fight

Hear, O God, the prayers of all thy children everywhere: for forgiveness and healing, for courage, for faith; prayers for the needs of others; prayers for peace among the desperate nations. Whether thou givest or withholdest what we ask, whether thou answerest us in words that burn like fire or in silence that burns like fire, increase in us the knowledge that thou art always more near to us than breathing, that thy will for us is love.
And deep beneath all our asking, so deep beneath that we are all but deaf to it ourselves, hear O God, the secret song of every human heart praising thee for being what thou art, rejoicing with the morning stars that thou art our God and we thy children. Make strong and wild this secret song within until it bursts forth at last to thy glory and our saving. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

I haven't known what to pray throughout this whole ordeal, but I read this prayer on Monday morning, just after Mom passed away. He has heard all of our prayers, and Mom fought the best and most beautiful fight of her life. She left nothing unsaid, my brother and I always knew how much she loved us and how proud of us she was. She loved my dad with all of her heart. She loved Jesus more than all of us.

As I sit here trying to write this, typing things then erasing everything and wondering how to end this blog well, there's a hummingbird hovering at my window. I kid you not. I'm pretty sure she arranged that.

I believe in Jesus more than I ever have before, because of her faith and I got to tell her that last week. Nothing was left unsaid, nothing could have been done more gracefully. She taught us to love and pray and everything falls into place from there.

Psalm 71 is God's promise to all of us who loved her.

In you, LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
turn your ear to me and save me.
Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.
For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD,
my confidence since my youth.
From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.
I will ever praise you.
I have become a sign to many;
you are my strong refuge.
My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.

Do not cast me away when I am old;
do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
For my enemies speak against me;
those who wait to kill me conspire together.
They say, “God has forsaken him;
pursue him and seize him,
for no one will rescue him.”
Do not be far from me, my God;
come quickly, God, to help me.
May my accusers perish in shame;
may those who want to harm me
be covered with scorn and disgrace.

As for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.

My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
of your saving acts all day long—
though I know not how to relate them all.
I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign LORD;
I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.
Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your mighty acts to all who are to come.

Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
you who have done great things.
Who is like you, God?
Though you have made me see troubles,
many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
You will increase my honor
and comfort me once more.

I will praise you with the harp
for your faithfulness, my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
Holy One of Israel.
My lips will shout for joy
when I sing praise to you—
I whom you have delivered.
My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
have been put to shame and confusion.

Amen.

Ain't no mountain high enough

Hey it's Lauren here. It's been a while since I wrote on here, but that's because mom was doing a great job taking care of the blog herself, wouldn't you say? Today she will be dictating.... but first I will tell you what's going on.

About 48 hours ago we showed up at Eastside Medical Center for the weekly visit to the oncologist for chemo. After seeing the doctor, he wanted to admit her immediately to get an MRI and CT scan to make sure the cancer had not spread to certain other areas, and after running these tests it was not found in those areas. We are still waiting for a few more test results and will find out tomorrow (most likely?).

As for today, mom just got some of the fluid drained that was around her lungs to help her breathe better, and now she's resting. We're waiting on her sisters to come deliver some Puerto Rican delicacies and then maybe we'll dance around to some salsa music for the rest of the day. Probably not, the room is entirely too small.

Mom wants to thank everyone who has been praying for all of us. For reaching out to Terry and me and Tom. For the letters, cards, visits, flowers and encouragement.

I'm thankful for all of you too and I would just ask for you all to continue praying. Psalm 91 is still our prayer through all of this.

And bring us some coffee cause it's terrible here.

Hopeful

I am tired, I am sad but I am hopeful. This sickness drags me down and tries to stump me but I remain strong with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:7 Wait? Who likes to wait? I pray and read but I don’t want to bother God. Whose lie is that? Deep down inside I know he doesn’t mind my interruptions because they are not. He calls me to pray about anything. I am so grateful for His faithfulness. Sometimes I ask Him if He’s there and sweet as he is and responds in His own unique way. For example this morning He sent as swift breeze. The birds are around but quiet as I open the bible to Psalm 42 …God why have you forsaken me? Why must I go about mourning and oppressed by the enemy?

We don’t have to. I know we may stumble but we must remember that He wants to make us smile and fill us with His joy. As I read His promises in Psalm 91, it makes me smile: “I dwell in the shelter of the Most High. I will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust. Surely He will save me from the fowler’s snare and the deadly pestilence.” WOW! What a promise. He will get me through these difficulties and cover me with his feathers and under His wings I will find refuge. How beautiful!

hummingbirds

This morning I’m on my way to the Urologist, Can’t shake this abdominal pain. I think it’s an infection, we’ll see. This chili morning I went out with my very strong coffee to enjoy the hummingbirds. There were at least six of them. They were so fast I couldn’t keep track of them. I wish I could be that fast. Maybe someday.

These days I am short of breath and I have to make Terry and Lauren slow down so I can keep up with them. It is not that slow so don’t worry but for someone as active as I am, it’s a little disconcerting. Yet I know Christ walks by my side.

No side effects from chemo, just the usual fatigue.

Hummingbirds are super fast and drink a lot of sugar water. I wish for tiny bit of their speed (but just a tiny bit), otherwise I’d be running into the windows all the time. I’ve seen them do it and it surprising they don’t die, they simply fly up to the nearest branches for recovery. I think we run into “windows” at times because we are trying to do too much.

Back when I was a kid my father had a car, but we didn’t go anywhere unless he wanted to go. I’m sure there were times when some of us got to go with him. And when I didn’t get to go I would be sad and a bit angry because since I was the oldest girl, I had to baby sit. Rrg! I felt trapped. I did have fun with my siblings but preferred to be out and about. Some of you know I love to travel, especially missionary work.

Our church took several trips with the youth and I always wanted to go. I did go in a few trips but had to step back a few times to allow others to join in the work with the church youth. But I missed it dearly. My desire during those trips was to encourage our young people to grow in their faith and humility. They were wonderful young people. I’m so proud of them. It was exhausting work but very fulfilling. Sometimes, when I was very tired I would read up on Psalms 121:
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Even when we take our eyes off of Him, the Lord watches of us, He is our hope and keeps us from all harm both now and forever more. Isn’t that great?!

As per the hummingbirds, when I get to heaven, I’m going to ask for wings or maybe a friendly eagle to fly me around. I don’t want to fly as fast as the hummingbirds because I may crash into one of the mansions windows (you know they say there will mansions in heaven. Correct me if I'm wrong. :) Will there be planets and stars left, then, I want to fly by and check them out. Yet it won’t matter, heaven will be enough.

Samuel

I was reading about little Samuel hearing the voice of God but not knowing who it was. When he heard the voice but didn’t see anyone, he went to Eli for guidance. Eli, old and tired, sent the little boy back to bed.

After a while Eli realized God was calling little Samuel and finally gave the little boy some advise. I think there are many Samuel’s out there looking for guidance from adults they respect. But sometimes we’re too busy and tired.

This also applies to prayer. As believers, we need to seek someone we trust to pray for and with us, so this means we must trust each other.
Little Samuel went to Eli for help and guidance. Eli was too tired and sent him away. Little Samuel kept hearing a voice and kept coming back to Eli until Eli realized what was going on. I think if Eli had taken the boy and prayed with him at that very moment things would have gone much better, especially for Eli.

As believers, we need to rely on each other for strength. We need to pray and encourage one another, in confidence. We must pray as a church body and for one another individually.

Like little Samuel there might be someone, chosen by God, to deliver a message and asking for your prayers and advice. We need to be receptive to this. I love it when young people share their needs with me. I always try to see them through God’s eyes and motivate them to seek Him through prayer. Holy Spirit will always inspire them and us if we are willing.

I’m seeing a movement among our youth and we must be receptive to this. God wants to do something big with our youth. Let’s unite in prayer for His will for this generation. Ask Him to give us a willing heart and eyes to see them through His precious eyes.
Let’s look at our young ones through Jesus’ eyes. Some may be like Samuel, hearing a voice calling them. Some may try looking for guidance once, maybe twice. But some may give up after the first time. Let’s keep our eyes open and be more willing to listen and pray with these people. I know we will see so much potential. It is exciting to know God is at work in our youth.

hiding

No squirrels or birds out this morning. It's cloudy and it looks like rain. It;s like they are there but do not want to be seen. Maybe hiding from me. Maybe they are growing tired of this human sitting on the back porch watching them eat and go about their business. I would!

Do you ever have days like this? You are there but don't want to be seen? When I was a kid and didn't want to be seen, especially by my father. I would hide in my room and under the bed or the closet. Then I would try really hard to think of the good times I've had at my aunt Margo's house. She was kind enough to let me stay with her during the summer breaks. There were no kids at her house to play with but I actually enjoyed the quiet surroundings. When you have so many siblings (there were 7 of us) you are fortunate enough to have someone to play with but when you wanted to be alone, there was simply nowhere to hide.

But as I learned later when I became a christian. There is no way I could ever be alone. I learned that Jesus was always with me. He doesn't play hide and seek because he knows where you are going to hide. Cute.

Today I don't want to hide, like the squirrels. Today I would love to sit in my Fathers' lap. You know, like a little toddler, climb onto His lap, wrap my arms around Him and talk with Him. Do you ever have days like this?

Blessings

The strain of life is what builds our strength. If there is no strain, there will be no strength. Are you asking God to give you life, liberty, and joy? He cannot, unless you are willing to accept the strain. And once you face the strain, you will immediately get the strength. Oswald Chambers.

Tough week for me. But I’m grateful that Terry’s family came over for a few days. I thank you for your prayers so much! God is good and faithful and when we least expected he’ll send a blessing. My health has been up and down. I’ve been tired and my eyes have given me a little trouble. So I can’t walk too far (I’m using the treadmill). So I have to hang on to the arms on the treadmill which makes me feel weak and old . So I walk ten minutes, slow down a bit and then pick up speed again. My goal is 30 minutes and so far I’ve been able to do so. You guys are thinking I’m nuts, but its fun. I take my time and listen to Christian music or watch a favorite show.

I’ve visited the oncologist yesterday for chemo. Now you guys are wondering. What? Chemo, again? Well, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I am done with head chemo for a while. Apparently no cancer cells showed in the last lab work they did of my head. YAY! So that means that Dr. F feels we can take a brake from the head chemo and work on the rest of my body. So now we will do weekly chemo. If you have any questions, please let me know, but right now I need to walk while I have some energy. Thanks again for your prayers


Blessings to you all,
Doris

ps:My sisters came to visit yesterday and it was fun having them here. They make me laugh. Thank God for blessings like family.

Thank you

Okay guys, I want to thank you for your prayers. I'm not as tired and I have done dishes by hand (which I enjoy). I spoke to the doctor about the fatigue and apparently it takes time to bounce back from these treatments. I finished radiation but I'm still doing head chemo, so my body is trying to recuperate. I'm ready to recuperate now! I have shared with my friends and family. They understand my frustration but also remind me that I have been doing two different treatments which have attacked cancer cells from different directions. They say I'm doing well considering.

I guess we have all had similar situations where we want God to work now and according to our will :) But He knows best and His timing is perfect. And I Love Him for that.

I'm peeling potatoes for dinner (which means some of my strength is back) It feels good . Lauren drove me to the Dr's office and then on to krogers! Yay, I didn't have to go straight home! It feels good to get out! Thank you Lord for the energy and strength.

Psalms 121:1-2
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Blessings,
Doris

Struggles

I’ve struggled with my faith the past few days simply because things aren’t going the way I would prefer. I know the Lord promised he would be with me in these difficult times but as a human being I want this to be over. I’m relieved there is no more radiation but I still feel some of the side effects, like dizziness and I sometimes can’t see out of my left eye.

I have to make time to sit alone with Him so that I may hear his voice. When I watch the birds I can sometimes (I'm sure I miss His message many a times) see and understand what He’s trying to tell me. “All in His time” and it makes me smile. I don’t know why but when I listen carefully I know I’m going to be alright. I shall overcome.

I need your continued prayers for strength, courage, faith, joy, peace, and perseverance not only for me but my loved ones.


This verse says it all to me: Trusting in my own mental understanding becomes a hindrance to complete trust in God. I must be willing to ignore and leave my feelings behind. I must will to believe. But this can never be accomplished without my forceful, determined effort to separate myself from my old ways of looking at things. I must surrender myself completely to God. (My Utmost for His Highest)
Have a blessed day,
Doris

His will, again?

May He equip you with all you need for doing His will. May He produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him. (Hebrews 13:21 NLT)
Just wanted to tell you that the Dr's visit went well. The treatment was pretty smooth but I was a little disappointed that the we had to do another test to see how often we will continue the chemo. Please pray for good results next week and for His continued strength as we move forward in this journey. My doctor is not a believer so I know he needs to know Jesus. We've talked about my faith but the Dr. is very good at changing the subject. I pray the moment will come when he will accept my words ( I mean His word). I pray for the right words and the right moment. I will continue to witness to him and hoping the Dr. will come to know Christ soon.

As I sit here thinking, what am I going to write about, I recall a devotion that talks about His will and how and when he works through us. Some of us are employed in places we never thought of. Yet when I hear stories from you I know God is using you in everyday things. I don’t know how to explain. But when I think back to my last job with special needs students I know with all my heart that was where God wanted me at that time. There so many events that changed me and hopefully changed those around me. I guess what I’m saying is as I said a few days ago;we are in a special journey. Ask God to open your eyes to your surroundings and give you wisdom and courage to do His will. Ask him to show you what He is doing through you and around you and take it all in.! It may be something simple or something you never thought would happen. It is sweet to see God at work! Blessings!

Grateful

Grateful

Hi guys! How is everyone doing today! I am having a fantastic morning! We had a beautiful morning and I got to water my plants. I know, I don’t get tired of talking about the garden  .

Today I want thank God for our family and how they have stepped forward and helped Terry and I. Terry’s sisters and their pampering, and my sisters and their home cooking (I don’t like cooking so when they come over I can have them cook me a favorite meal). They pamper me and will do anything for me. It is sweet!

I thank God for my siblings because as we grow older we are learning to appreciate each other. I must insert this in here, if you have a sibling you don’t have a relationship with, make one. Ask God to help both you surrender your pride and to help you be a humble witness to your loved one. Read on…

My siblings and I, as we grow older have open up to each other (even just a tiny bit means a lot to me) and are calling and checking in on each other. Praise God! This means so much to me; it brings tears to my eyes. We are sharing things we didn’t know about each other and of course that brings more tears. I believe most of us have chosen to forgive and forget which is best both spiritually and emotionally.

Back when I gave my life to Christ in 1992, I thought it was going to be easy, since I believed I was a pretty good person and the person who hurt me was gone. Ha! The Lord has a great sense of humor and was checking to see if I had one as well (which I didn’t, and still don’t. I just don’t get jokes. Lauren has to sometimes tell people to explain because I’m just not going to get it). Anyway, I asked God what I needed to change. Well, be careful what you ask the Father, ‘because he is honest and will tell you. He kept telling me to apologize to my husband. I didn’t get it. What the heck for? It wasn’t my fault, which by the way was my favorite phrase.

Well to make a long, long, painful story short. God wanted me to apologize to my husband. Whether it was my fault or his, I was a believer and needed to be the first to apologize. My poor husband was usually an innocent bystander when I needed to blame someone. After years of my grumbling, kicking and complaining, none of which God appreciated, I’m sure. I finally learned through the power of the Holy Spirit (I can now honestly say, I could not move forward in my walk unless I surrendered to God).

I did learn to apologize (which I still do  ). I felt so much better about myself but mostly I felt closer to God. There were many a tearful night of repentance asking God to help me be closer to Him, but the more I read the bible the more I understood that I had to put myself aside and only then could I feel his “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control”

Today I’m grateful to God for His faithfulness. In retrospect if I had kept picking on my husband we may not have made it this far. My faith wouldn’t have grown and I wouldn’t have so many caring loving Christian people encouraging me with the truth. I thank God for all of you prayer warriors. I’m grateful God is with me right now and I’m thankful for His promise of healing.

Blessings,
Doris

I started out a little tired today and don't know why. The pain meds takes about an hour to kick in so I got up took it and went back to bed. I want to do things around the house, like laundry and dishes (i do like doing dishes). Terry is doing a great job taking care of me, especially with his sisters helping out (they are wonderful). They do laundry and dishes and are always pampering me. Terry is a good man, I thank God for him. It hasn't been easy but the Lord has helped us every step of the way.

My sister will be coming to stay for a few days this sunday. I'm looking forward to that as well. I never thought having a big family would come in this handy.

We had a tornado come mighty close to our house two days ago. I've never seen the wind blow so hard, ever. The top of a pine tree behind our house broke off and thank God it fell straight down. It missed out our by about ten feet. Thank God we won't have to worry about that!

Everyone have a great day today. Blessings,
Doris

prayer

Prayer is a conversation with God. It is not because he feels sorry for us, I don’t think so, but because of salvation. It is not because we deserve it. He doesn’t owe a thing. This morning devotion says “Prayer is not simply getting things from God— that is only the most elementary kind of prayer. Prayer is coming into perfect fellowship and oneness with God. If the Son of God has been formed in us through regeneration (see Galatians 4:19), then He will continue to press on beyond our common sense and will change our attitude about the things for which we pray.”

I want to know more about prayer. There are moments when I have no clue where to begin. I find myself reading a book of prayer, or reading the devotional “My Utmost for His Highest” which has been an inspiration to me for many years or even “Prayers That Avail Much” by Germaine Copeland. Some people say that they have to have me pray so that God will hear their prayers. That scares me! I am simply Doris and I have no direct line to God. I believe we have to ask in prayer but I also remember reading that Holy Spirit who dwells in us prays for us when we can’t utter a word. So pray. My Utmost for His Highest says “Asking means that our will must be involved. Whenever Jesus talked about prayer, He spoke with wonderful childlike simplicity.”

I finished my radiation therapy.I won’t see them again unless the oncologist says otherwise.

The oncologist will do another brain fluid sample next week and will decided if I shall continue once a week chemo or go to once a month (Of course I pray neither, but will settle for once a month) . The doctors were concern about my weight but I’ve gained two pounds (thanks to milkshakes) so that is very good. We loved happy hour at Steak and Shake.
Yay!!!

Blessings,
Doris

The journey

Okay you guys, I have to share this devotion with you today, because The Lord spoke to my heart when I read it this morning. To be honest wth you, yesterday was one of those days when as a believer I was having a little trouble believing my own words. I asked myself a few times , why so long? Its been over a year now. How long can I do this. I'm an active person and laying around reading a book its just not what I'd like to be doing, honestly. But if I really think about it and try to understand my situation I just won't get anywhere fast. You know what I mean? I love Jesus and when I sit quietly and read His word (and this amazing devotions) I find that it really doesn't matter. At least I think so. The disciplels must have thought Jesus was nuts when he did some of the things he did. But in the end they understood and used their expriences to honor Him. To me that is so cool. So read the following devotion and think what you want. I'm sticking with Jesus and nobody is going to change my mind. :) I'm no disciple and I never will be but when someone tells me that a word or two from the blog have been and inspiration it gives me great joy. Maybe that's it. I'm no writer, as you may be able to tell but when the Lord inspires a word in my heart I have to put it down and hopefully He is glorified and someone is touched.

"We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious."

So there. The journey is just as important as the goal. I love all of you and I'm grateful to God for your prayers. Have blessed day and write back.

prayer request

Hi guys, I hope everyone has a great weekend. I am sitting here trying to have breakfast, which I find hard to do because food just isn't tasting well this days. The doctor says i've lost ten pounds and cannot loose any more weight. Its ironic because I have been trying to loose this much weight for years and now that I have the doctor says is not healthy for me. I haven't weighted this much since I was in high school. So, I'm asking for your prayers that my appetite returns and that I may be able to taste food again. Things can actually look good but the taste its just not the same. I can sometimes taste my coffee but not every day. It must be the meds i'm taking. Thank you for prayers and encouragement. Blessings!

transplanting

You ever move a plant from one place to another place you just know is going to be perfect for it. I do this all the time and this morning I was admiring my transplants asking the Lord to bless them because I think they look great just where they are and I hope He agrees and helps them grow. I was also thinking about how life can change so quickly and without your permission. I think of young Joseph and how he ended up in jail, yet his faith didn't falter. And Job, man, did the man have trials! But his faith got him through. You ever wonder about Paul? He had everything he wanted but after he became a believer his life change dramatically. Instead of the pursuer he became the pursue (not sure on the spelling). Did he know what he was getting into? Yet through it all he always glorified his lord and savior Jesus Christ.

This morning, I was having one of those moments, thinking to myself. Why is this happening to me? Did I do something wrong? Are You trying to teach me something new my Lord? It hurts so deeply to see my loved ones suffer because of my situation. But then I wonder about the times I have asked God to use me for His purpose, so that He glorified, more of Him and less of me. I'm not saying Iam one of those amazing people from the bible. No way! But it humbles me to think that God has chosen me to glorify His name during my illness and that He reveals His majesty to me every morning when we sit and talk. It gives me great pleasure to know people are reading this simple notes and are encouraged to trust Him through difficult times. Because God is not a "good times" God. He is an all the time God. Faithful and reliable. He does not do things according to our will because He knows best. So don't get angry with him when He answers your prayers in His way. Instead, ask Him for wisdom and discernment and for understanding. And praise Him because He did answer you prayer. The time will come when you will actually understand how He works and be grateful.

I think I am being transplanted and I'm having a difficult time adjusting. But the gardener sees the potential in me and He's watching over me. So I'm going to trust Him with my life and I'm excited about what's ahead.

If you feel a little transplanting going on in your life right now. Please know that the maker of everything may be working in your life to make it better not only for you but for many others who will benefit from God's work in your life. Trust Him even when it hurts. He's there crying with you by your side. Blessings to you.

Good morning

Just came in from watering the plants (it is hot out there)and feeling pretty good. The radiation yesterday made me a little tired which meant nothing got done. But today the meds are working and my energy level is much better. No dr appointments today, which i'm glad for. Maybe I'll get to go out to lunch, just to get out of the house. Keep praying for complete healing and more energy. It is hard to sit around when you want to be busy doing chores. Terry and Lauren are doing a great job keeping up with the house but as wife, mom and woman I just need to have something to do. I will accomplish something in good time, I keep telling myself. In the meantime, I will trust in the Lord to move me forward with his peace, strength and courage. Everyone have a wonderful day.

I finished!

We finished the Peachtree Road Race; Lauren, Laura and I.



We walked it and loved it! It was hot but people didn’t seem to mind for they had their mind set on the finish line. I saw some interesting things. A group of young men dressed as Hawaiian girls zigzagging along Peachtree. They were drinking something, and I bet it was not water. I saw a 90 year old pass me with a t-shirt that said “I’m 90 and I’m passing you” that was adorable. He had no help from anyone. He was walking and having fun.



There were some women with him probably daughters and granddaughter. There were people speaking in other languages. Can you imagine how many countries are represented at the Peachtree?

Sorry I didn’t post earlier, but I’m just getting over the aching body. On Monday after the race they had to take me to the tent because apparently I wasn’t sweating so they wrapped this cold wet towel around my neck, which literally send me into internal shock. My body woke up quickly and I told the young nurse I had a long way to go and needed to get better now. She smiled and said you’re not leaving until your pulse is normal. So I laid there a few more minutes praying my pulse would get back to normal.

Why did I want to leave right away? Because I thought we were going to have to walk all the way back to the starting line to catch MARTA. Silly me, I was having a discussion with God where I kept telling him, I did not sign up for 12 miles, Lord. This will definitely put a damper in my celebration. But as I mentioned this to one of the nurses, she assured me I did not. She told me there was a MARTA station ten minutes from where I was, so I wouldn’t have to worry about that! Well, praise God! That alone brought my pulse back to normal and I was ready to march once again. I know Lauren and Laura and my dear husband were worried about me. After all they were there for me every step of the way and to see me falter after the race would definitely be sad.

Another thing about the Peachtree is that they have music everywhere. Lauren and I stopped and danced at one place. It was fun! Music can make you forget you troubles and I tell you at that moment my legs were starting to feel like jello, but I wanted to make the best of the situation and it worked. I had fun dancing with my girl and a burst of energy to make it to the end.



6.2 miles can seem like an eternity especially when you are at the 5 mile marker. But God is good and I have never been so excited to see a finish line before. Only it wasn’t , it was only the 6 mile marker. I thought to myself “ I can do this,” but it honestly seemed so far away. Terry joined us and walked with me the rest of the way. What a good husband, hah! Ladies, we’ve been married 31 years, by the way. Never in my wildest dreams did I see myself in such an interesting situation with my dear husband by my side. He’s a keeper!



I had some good news from my oncologist yesterday as well. He says there are no cancer cells in my head! So celebrate with me, no cancer cells!!! He will keep an eye on me for a few weeks but says that the chemos will only be once a week then every other week and then phased out completely! Yay! Praise God! Maybe I’ll get to drive sometime soon. The radiation is going well and I only have three to go. Dr. says they are working rather well, so he’s pleased with the results. I can see a change but he says the radiation works well after the application and we’ll look for better results in the near future. I pray and ask you to pray for a quick healing.



So now I can say with great excitement that I accomplished another goal in my life. I thank God for helping me through it. For strength, courage, faith and a family that loves me and encourages me to try new things. Bless you all for your words of encouragement and prayers. Love you all. Check out the rest of the pictures in facebook. I think we got them all posted.

Big Day tomorrow

Okay guys, I'm so excited! Tomorrow is the big day. The Ptree Road race. You have to pray for Lauren and I. I have been a little tired lately (side effects of the radiation) but I know once I take my meds my strength comes back. Running has always been my thing (even though I'm a slow runner), It takes me away from the cares of this world and it puts me in contact with God in an amazing way. Some of you know about runners high. Well mine is like a feeling that Jesus is running there along side of me chatting about "things". Can you see Him in tennis shoes and shorts, its kinda funny! But it feels good to know that He is there with you in the simplest of things.
Anyway, We gotta be up and going early tomorrow, so please be praying for us all morning long. There's going to be a lot of people there and I gotta keep my distance (haha), you know, germs. Remember you gotta pray all morning for me and Lauren. I'm going to need strength, stamina, faith, hope, you know all that good stuff. I have felt everyone's prayers lately. I know I couldn't have made it without them.

Lauren is out running this morning because she really hasn't had a chance to run in weeks. So she needs to catch up. Oh to be young again!

My transplants (remember I moved some plants the other day)seem okay this morning, so I hope they make it through the summer. I'll keep you updated.

Talk to you guys soon. God bless.
Doris

times gone by

Good morning! Sorry I missed yesterday. I was having a wonderful morning in the garden. I actually did some gardening. The weather was so nice I decided to move some plants and get my hands down and dirty. I wanted flowers where I could see them from my bedroom window. So I gather all my energy and moved the plants where I wanted them. I had to do some squatting (which I'm paying for today) to get the flowers in just the right location. They look very pretty this morning and with just a bit of care they should do well.
This morning while I watered my flowers I was thinking back to high school. I think high school its challenging enough as it is but when you have family problems and you feel responsible for your loved ones its really heavy duty. We were seven kids I was the oldest girl with the motherly syndrome. Bossy, do what I say not as I do bossy. I felt I needed to be an example but I was so screwed up myself I wasn't sure what to do. I met a girl in middle school. An american girl who sized me up and befriended me out of the goodness of her heart. I didn't know what to make of her. She was brutally honest, pretty and had a mouth on her, it some times scared me. I was shy but when she was around I could actually find words and believe me they weren't pretty words. We laughed a lot and I really think I got in trouble because of her. You know, I got to blame somebody. She brought the best and the worst out of me and if it hadn't been for her crazy sense of humor and view on life I wouldn't had made it through high school. We did not get to graduate from the same high school because of personal difficulties in our individual lives, but I will never forget the fun times I had with her. God has always blessed me with amazing friends. I don't have a lot of close friends but the ones I have are very special.

This girl had so many problems herself but somehow she put them aside when we were together and we had fun. My siblings often wonder where I dug up this "american" girl from. Let me explain the "american" label thing. When you are from a nother country and come here, you sort of, at the beginning, label everyone as american because, and this was my silly way of thinking. They are different and have some strange bad habits that you have to be careful not to get attached to. You know, you watch tv back in your country and those crazy americans do some some crazy stuff, we wouldn't be caught dead doing. How ignorant!
Anyway, I cannot go into details about some of the silly things we did (you know, I was youth sponsor for awhile there) but I just simply want to say thank you to my dearest friend, Lauren.

Anyway, do you remember back to a friend like that? Someone who was willing to do anything for you? I thank God for people like Lauren.

God bless all of you.

meds

Forgot to take my meds last night. Is that a good sign? I'm not sure. I was having a good time with Penny and a neighborg, laughing and telling stories and totally forgot. As I lay in bed thinking why aren't I asleep I kept asking God. What's going on Lord I close my eyes and see nothing. Are you there? Do you ever feel that way? Like God is hiding from you. Of course he is not but we make a big deal out of it. I actually thought about a dream I used to have about a garden, a rose garden. Well kept, and manicured. The roses were giants and I got to touch them! I asked God why I didn't dream about the roses any more and no answer came. Yet as I think about right now I realize I was dreaming about the garden and the beautiful roses! We are so silly sometimes. I thank Good for reminding me that the dream still alive and that someday I will walk through that garden in heaven with HIM by my side. Now that's exciting! I did fall asleep after that and was grateful for His faithfulness. We often forget He is there all the time, even when we feel alone. I have to read His word on a daily basis just to remind me of His presence in my life. When I read about David and his struggles and how somehow he always cried out to God for stremgth I find it very encouraging.

Well, I took Penny around the little town of Madison this morning. We walked together, she took pictures (lots of pictures) and we chatted. It felt good to continue to get ready for sunday. It feels good to have strength to walk and enjoy the beauty that surrounds us. I wonder how many people will be there at the race. Will I finish, yes! With God's help I can do it. I can't believe its only 10:48am! Sorry, I'm rambling. It feels good though.

Thank you so much for prayers. I feel stronger every day. Pray for Sunday!

walked 3 miles today!

Good morning everyone! I'm so excited to say I walked 3 miles around the neighborhood today. It was awesome. Not too humid and even though the sun was out I did not feel overheated. Praise God. My sister in law joined me which made it so much easier. I know it will hit me this afternoon, say around 2pm, but it is good to set a goal and reach it. Isn't it?
Been thinking about trials in our lives and how we handle them. My heart goes out to the disciples after Jesus was taken from them. What were they thinking? Do they join forces and go get this precious man they've walked with for the past three years. Or do they pray and wait (Jesus did say to pray, actually he was a brilliant example to the disciples during those three years) to see what happens. They were scared, and I think they prayed but maybe more out of fear than anything else. They were such a tiny group agains the forces that surrounded them. But you know what, I think they prayed because they knew nothing else. I'm sure, they had memories of Jesus going off early in the morning to be with the Father, alone. Did they ever hear him cry out or simply laugh as he spoke with the Father. I know that when I take time to simply sit in his precense I think about those times when the disciples simply didn't know what to make of the situation.

We need to take our eyes off our human strength and trust the One who by example simply prayed for strength from the Father. Holy Spirit lives in those of us who trust Jesus and He takes cares of our prayer needs. Romans 8:26, 27 says " In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do knot know what we ought to pray for, but the Sspirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

I don't know what's ahead but I know He is with me every step of the way, even when I in desperation don't see Him. I wasn't sure if walking this morning would be a good idea but in accordance with Jesus promises "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me". I shall try it again tomorrow, and then again the next day.

Love you guys,
Doris

one chemo in the head a week!

well, its exciting to hear from the dr. that for now we will only do one chemo in my head until further notice. He's pleased the headaches, vomiting and light sensitivity is gone and honestly, so am I. So I don't have to see him until next tuesday morning. yay!! I have a more energy but I'm trying to control myself, my dear sister in law penny is coming today and we will have a fantastic time together. She is so much fun! And she is an exercisy guru so maybe I can get her to walkk around the neighborhood with me (it has to be early in the morning, though). I got to be ready for the peachtree so we'll see.

Guys thank you for the prayers! I feel stronger every day. Please pray for the race, its going to be hot that morning and I have to be prepared for the heat. My appetite is better and I actually had my strong coffee this morning and it felt good going down. I could actually taste it. So my tastebuds are kicking back in.

Love you all,
Doris

Feeling tired but good!

Feeling good today! Slept great and had quiet time with the Lord this morning. I will walk this morning (at least on my treadmill) for a little while to prepare for the p'tree next week. We had a lot of rain last night so no need to water today. It is pretty outside today. We celebrated with Tom last night but man was I beat when we got home. He is so happy! It is good to see your children happy.
I want to thank everyone for prayers. God is answering in His amazing way. Headaches are virtually gone, no nauseau (spelling), no dizziness. Praise God! Now we'll wait and see what the test for the head chemo will say. Tomorrow they'll do those tests. I'm excited. Pray no more chemo on the head! :)
Guys, please continue to pray for my younger sister. That she will do well on her decissions. I love her so much and want the best for her.

Okay, this is it for today. I want to get to the treadmill and be done before my dr's appt this morning. Blessings, to you all,
Doris

graduation

Tommy graduates from his music technology school today! I'm so proud of him. He's finally doing what he likes and that makes me happy. Terry and I will go to his graduation and then early dinner. Can't wait to see what The Father has ahead for Tom. But I'm excited none the less. When Lauren graduated I had no clue Holy Spirit was going to take her on such adventures! Never in wildest dreams (maybe in my prayers) did I see her singing in Spanish and praising our Lord in my native language. Never give up on those prayers for your children. God has amazing ways of answering prayers according to HIS will. And they turn out for the best! I am excited to see what's ahead for Tom.
So keep praying for His will and ask Him to show you how he's working around you (I think its okay because sometimes I see hints of His majesty that I otherwise wouldn't) and through you. It really gives me joy to see His hand at work around me. And sometimes I have the priviledge of sharing with someone how I see God working in their lives. It is precious! People need hope in their lives.
Father, I pray this precious Sunday morning that you reveal yourself to everyone reading this post. Show them your grace, joy, peace, faith, strength, perseverance, you know, exactly what they need. Open our eyes to YOU and help us share your kindness with someone who just may need Your Word today. One kind word can change a life. A stranger having a bad day may just need a kind work from you today.

Keep praying for my sisters; one has to have treatment after breast surgery and the other wants to be available to take care of two sick sisters.

In Christ,
Doris

walking is good for your soul

I just got back from a short walk (longer than around my house)and it feels so good to be outdoors! Enjoying the clean crisp morning air, the birds buzzing you cause you are getting way too close to "their" nests, which is really a neighbor's house. One came so close I thought she was going to knock off my hat! She's a momma defending her nest. I would do the same. Ran (actually walked into) into a sweet neighbor and she, was so encouraging. She calls me butterfly because apparently to her I run from place to place touching lives unknowingly. Isn't that cute. I have no clue what she means but its sweet. I watch butterfly's and they are preciouus to me because of everything they go through before they come out of the cocoon (spelling left to your imagination). Some have long journeys after all the hazzle but most prevail and are beautiful to watch. God gives us gifts and talents to put to work for His glory and sometimes we miss out on those opportunities because we put ourselves first. You know, things like how much do I want to make, who do I want to impress, I only have one life I must make a lasting impression.
As I get older I realize I am exactly where God wants me to be. At one time I wanted to be a pilot (yep, you got me. I wanted to show my family I was amazing and would travel all over the world just to show them that a poor little girl from puerto rico can make it big) but he had other plans. Instead God put a soft spot in my heart for young misunderstood people. I ended up working with Special Needs students, which scared me at the beginning but as time went by, I knew exactly where they were coming from. The anger, fear, hesitation even the lies (once I figure out they were liying) I understood because it was the way I had felt until Jesus came into my life.

I miss those young people, but they taught me a lot. Patience in particular. A lot of them had autism. They tell it like it is, when they do speak. And when they make a joke you really have to think about it (especially if you are like me, I just don't get jokes) but I love them the same.

Anyways, guys I feel very much at peace this morning and I'm ready for whatever is ahead for me. Thank you for your prayers. I love you all.

Remember that there are a lot of misunderstood young people out there. Pray before you speak. Love them (not easy, when they can be such a pain :)) But weren't you young once? Take care. Let me hear from you soon. I've enjoyed your comments...

Namaste (the only thing I can say in Nepali)

It's been a while since I've posted, and mom asked me specifically to do it this morning, so here goes nothing.

I'm currently in Kathmandu, Nepal listening to a wedding party (the actual party) going on down the street. There are colored lights hanging down in strings from the roof down to the ground of the house. That would be an incredible wedding to crash, but I would immediately be busted. There are only about 3 white people in this neighborhood.

I've been here for 3 days now and today is the first day I haven't felt like going back to bed by 11am. The sun comes up around 4:30am, it goes down at 7:30pm, and the boys wake up at 6:30am. There's a 10 hour time difference (ish). I am not used to any of this.

But so far so good. Here are some pictures of the events of the last few days.


Megan and Robert are my friends showing me around, and thank goodness because I would have no idea how to even cross the street here with their help.


I brought my running shoes thinking I would be able to run a few times here. I like to run in every country I visit just to say, "Oh yeah, I went for a run there." Nepal will not be on that list unfortunately. I will only be able to say I visited and drank every glass of tea I was offered. Needless to say, training for the Peachtree Road Race will not be happening here. Sorry mom.




These two pictures above are from a Tibetan community here. I don't know all the details but I do know that this second picture is of a woman handmaking (weaving?) a Tibetan rug. They said it takes a month to make one. I may have to buy one.


And here is a picture of a family we went to have dinner with. They live in a huge house with a few other families and they run a ministry amongst these families and a million other things. Truly, I was impressed. I may have to write more about this group later. But, there was a Sherpa living there.

Yes, I met a Sherpa. I watched her talk on her cell phone while behind her a Onesie that said "Nashville" hung on a clothes line. I think that means I'm supposed to move to Nashville. Or become a Sherpa.

I do believe that's all for now. I have way more pictures, but that's all the patience I have and it's all blogspot would allow me to do (kinda).

I guess we all need to start getting t-shirts ready to wear along the sidelines of the Peachtree Road Race to cheer mom along....

Good night from this side of the planet!

P'tree Road Race

Just took a walk around the outside of my house today!!! by myself!!!! even better!! My goal has been to wonder a few feet away from the house by myself everymorning. It feels really good, especially for someone who likes to run a few miles a day just for the fun on it. I had wanted tickets to the peachtree road race but could not find a set for Lauren and me. However, some dear friends of Lauren have supplied the coveted tickets. So now I have to make a super effort to at least show up and make my presence known. I'm so excited! I do have a back up plan, though. Tom, my precious, kind, loving child will take my place if I can't get started. Pray I do, for this means a lot to me. I talked with God about it and asked him to let me finish only because its one of those goals in life that although it may be simple for some it is monumental to me at this stage in my life. If we can make it to the start line it will be a significant step, since i've been limited to walking around my house for the past few weeks. Today, I'll walk on my threadmill for a little bit, maybe twenty minutes, and see how it goes. Don't worry, Terry will be nearby to supervise :).

Anyway, The rain last night allowed for more free time around the garden so I was asking God about how he's going to get me through the race. All I can think of is how when I first started reading the bible back when I started walking with Christ in 1991. A dear friend, Sheila, recommended just a little bit of info at a time. Open the Word and ask God to help you understand what he is saying. Sometimes, I read and nothing made sense, except a word here or there. I had so many questions? But as child it was important to listen to Him carefuly. And in this world of communication (at least we think we are) I expected an aswer right away. Nope, God doesn't work our way, he works His way. He sent me psalm 121 to read. and I read it over and over again, until one day the first sentence made sense: "1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

God basically said, Seek me and you shall find me, I'
m all around you my child, I am the Maker of heaven and earth"

When things look upside down, I will turn them rightside up, but trust me, read my word and praise me. I am the Maker, NOTHING is impossible.

So this morning as I begin my "training" for the Peachtree Race. Pray the results of tests next week will take away the head chemo completely and this radiology will not make me tired.

I truly enjoy hearing from you and am very encouraged that others are also touched by The Lords grace. His grace is sufficient for me, it feels me with hope, joy, and peace.

So as Jesus told the boys in john: Come let us rise and go from here...
(I will need all your prayers to go and finish the race.) Love you guys

weeding :)

Weeding this morning! loved it! My fingers went into the ground and felt the moist dirt with the satisfaction of knowing those weeds are out of there! At least until the next time they try to pop out of my hard work. I actually took pictures of my impatient garden. They are still a little short but no shortness in color. They are so beautiful to look at. They remind me of the youth I used to work with at Snellville Christian. So much life in them, so much color, so different yet so alike in Christ. I miss all those kids. They have grown and began new lives some together some in places I never would have tought. I'm so proud of you guys. God gave me the privilege to work with you and perhaps put a little seed, water or even trim some of you. God is so faithful. we don't always see the results, but He sees the big picture and oh how beautiful it is. Even when you feel surrounded by weeds, there is someone right there watching over you and if you trust Him, He'll help you through your trials. He may not remove the weed, because you may be strong enough to do it but fearful enough not to try it. Do so my darling! It is time for you to step up and trust The Creator in just this trial. If I had given up when the dr said its in your head and your chest I would be in a heck of situation right now. Actually, Terry, Lauren and Tom would be. They are watching how my faith grows, how God is working in people's lives. Isaiah 43:19 "19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.

Now what is this supposed to mean to you and me? To me it means that He can use this old (not too old now :))body to be glorified and to show others no matter what age that He can do all things even when it seems impossible. Let's face it we are self centered no matter how hard we try. We think about what He can do for us instead how we can help those around us who are so desperately in need of Christ. Let's focus on the need around us, personal or not and reach out to someome who might least expected.

I am grateful right now because there are people reaaching out to Terry and I that I don't really know, but who care and are making sacrifices to help us out with this unplanned situation. My sweet neighbor can't get around without a walker and I don't know why, but our neighbors are reaching out to him. Some may not know Christ but they will hear about Him somehow. I thank God that my youngest sister is bouncing back from her surgery and hopefully start treatments soon.

My hope is to drive myself to her place withing the next few weeks and spend time with her.
Please pray for my middle sister, Nilda. I know she's overwhelmed by all of this but she trusts in the Lord through it all.

Isaiah 43:19 says " See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland. "

I see God working miracles in people's lives (may be unnoticed to us at the moment). Some one may be looking for a special someone and realizes that Holy Spirit is the someone special who will guide his every step. Listen careful to Holy Spirit, be still, and keep reading His word. Some of you are right there in front of the spring (you know the old saying you can bring a horse to water but can't make it drink) Stop looking around to so see who is drinking, DRINK! Holy Spirit has been patient with you, "do you know perceive it?" God is making a way for you in the wilderness ( he never said it would be easy) and streams in the wasteland (water=holy spirit) You have every tool you need my love. Father, Son and Holy Ghost!!

I would love to hear from some of you and how He is making ways in your wildernes and streams in the wasteland around you. Shine His light! Love you,Doris

longest day of the year litterally.

I woke up with the sunrise yesterday clueless as to the extent of the day. The longest day of the year. Had plenty of energy and thought well, I'll get so things done. The rain had already watered my precious plants, so that was done for. So I thought I would read since my head wasn't hurting, but for some reason i couldn't find where I was reading the last time. I forgot to mark the page (this happens when you are getting chemo poured into your head twice a week) I had two appointments and was a little nervous about the reaction my body would have toward radiation and then chemo in my head. For the first time since all of this began I teared up a little. But my precious husband held me tight and Holy Spirit gave strength and only a few tears rolled. Then God's joy came over me and moved me forward. Tommy took me to the dr. and we got to hang out and chat about how God is working in our lives and how amazing it is to me that our two children are involved with music. I can't wait to see what He is working on with those two children. They are like day and night and so special (well, you know, they are mine, I have to show them off a bit). Tommy lights up every time we talk a about a sound board all the gadgets that go with his part of engineering sound. And Lauren, well, she just simply sings in sucha special way, I believe angels stop and listen. Just a little pride and honor about our children.

Back to yesterday, my visit to the radiologist was smoother than I expected. It lasted about thirty minutes and they marked me up in certain places. The visits will be between 15 and 30 minutes long and side effects may include cough, and fatigue, and maybe discolored skin areas. three times a week until further notice. Dr. Freedman, my oncologist is doing some test next week to see if I shall continue chemo on my head, once or twice a week. I'm praying for NO more chemo on my head. YOU guys do so too, for me.

After the radiologist Tom and I had lunch and it was kind of funny because he bought a childrens meal so that i could have ice cream afterwards. Is in it funny? We reversed our roles and I truly enjoyed having him order for me. I did feel like a little girl. I love that boy so much. I thank God that both our children are here for us. We are so proud of them.

Sorry I'm rambling but remember yesterday was a loooong day, so we ended up waiting a long time at the oncologist office, but they gave me a bed to rest so I wouldn't be uncomfortable. After waiting for what it seems like hours we drove home, yet another hour and I was ready for night. However, silly me divided my pills before bed time and proceeded to go to bed without my meds. Talk about a long day :) I could not understand why i couldn't sleep and was so achey. Well, Duh, I left my pills on the kitchen counter allllll night long. So today when I got up, there they were, waiting on me. So ofcourse i took them right away so I can catch up on headache and discomfort. Pray for joy, peace, faith, strength for my self and loved ones. As some of you know my youngest sister also had breast surgery last week and she needs to decide what type of therapy she will have to do. I beleieve she needs to do radiation as well so please pray she will follow through and do well. She's younger and stronger so I know she can bounce back right away.

Well, sorry about rambling, but yesterday was a long day. God bless all of you. Enjoy the rain from last night. Blessings, to all of you, Doris

cool morning, light headache

Was able to play in the garden this morning. Low humidity helped get out and water the flowers. When I read about Peter walking to Jesus in the storm I believe his faith is complete at that moment but when I read about his hesitation I identify with him because right now I feel like I may be looking around at the storm instead of focusing on Christ. But, oh, how faithfull he is that even in moments like this he reaches out to me, in His precious love, and takes my hand. Even when I feel I'm going under one more time I feel his precious strong hands pulling me up and it makes me smile. To know that he is there for me and my loved ones it's pure joy. I know its hard for my loved ones to see me struggle but don't worry. Psalm 91 promises He is watching over me. I have more strength today than yesterday and that is His strength I stand on. My impatients are looking very pretty today so that rain we had the last few days really helped. Keep praying friends, the Lord is listening. Love ya.

good morning-tired afternoon

I had a great morning yesterday because i had strength to garden some and Terry got to help me. But by noon my body was achey and sleepy. Forced my self to walk around the garden and in the house a few times and it felt good but to no avail. My neck was screeming bloody murder. Took meds in between which helped with the heachache but still had to stay in bed. I read through facebook to see how everyone is doing and it makes me smile. Today I will try taking a pain med without a sleeping med that goes with it so I can stay alert a bit more. see if that helps my neck a bit.God makes me smiles in the littlest of things. Like a buttlerfly coming out of nowhere or a humming bird having a heated discussion with a squirrell. They are cute to watch. My sister in law is coming to visit in a few days. I'm looking forward to that. She's so funny!

Hope everyone has blessed day.
Doris

Relaxing morning

Up way to early but headed out to the garden after coffee. wanted to get my hands down and dirty. Repotted some pretty summer plants and hope they bounce back considering I want to give them to my little sister, who's also recuperating from surgery. Please pray for her to want to accept the therapy being offered to her. She's my baby sister so its hard to think she wouldn't. I love her soo much and I feel useless cause I can't be there for her now. Yet, I know My
Deliverer will watch over her. When I water my plants I think of my sibblings and the difficulties we've had as children and how much God has helped us overcome.Watering the plants brings joy to my heart because it reminds me of God's grace, which is free for the taking but we must reach out. Jesus serves it on silver gobblets but we must reach out and take it, forever. Not finished gardening yet but got to take tylenol for the headache. It is only 9am here in madison and I feel like I've been up all night. Maybe a brake will be best. stay in touch. Pray for my little sister chemo program and strength for me to move forward trusting in the Lord.

Good Morning!

Sorry about yesterday but apparently we had a bad storm, which i slept through. So needless to say I have some catching up to do but sitting up for too long bugs me a little. Was watching the birds and squirrells (amazing passtime!) this morning and its funny how much they are like us. Some birds got spunk and are not afraid to face the bully squirrell. And some squirrells are whimps. lol. I would love to find a hummingbird nest but they are way to fast for me. Anyway, having a better day today. will get chemo on my head and stitches removed. I pray for a painless day so I can enjoy my surroundings. You guys know what to pray for. Thank God for all of you praying. I never thought prayer was as important as it is now. You know how when someone asks you to pray and we dismissivily say sure and move on. No my friend when someone asks for prayer stop right then and the and pray. It not only show your friend you really care but it will be a witness to God of your faithfulness not to mention build up your prayer self esteem. I'm learning to do this now and I love the look on people's faces when you tell them "Let's do it right now". It makes Jesus Smile. Heard Lauren do her concert from Spain on Skype last night. I never get tired of listening to her sing. And my little "monster" Tom graduates from music school next sunday. I'm so proud of him! Talk to you tomorrow. Gotta walk around the garden and get my excersice. Love you all,
Doris

A+

Chemo went really well today! Probably the best so far, no nausea or sickness after the treatment and mom was up until a crazy hour, almost 9PM!!! It was a wonderful day of seeing lots of friends, and so even though it was jam packed it was really great to see everyone.

All of this makes me feel much better about heading back to Spain tomorrow (Wednesday). I'll be out of town until July 1, then I'm back for good in the U.S. I just need to go back to Salamanca to say my goodbyes, pack up some things, and then maybe head over to Nepal for a while. That's right, Nepal, KATHMANDU. It's real!! Pray that I can finally make some decisions as to whether I should go or not!

But with mom doing so well today, I feel good about going. Now it's just up to all of you here in this country to take good care of her for the next 2 weeks. However, it's been proven that I'll be leaving her in good hands. Dad takes great care of her, and so do all of you.

I've showed her how to keep the blog up to date, so we can both continue updating from different continents! Yoohoo!

I'm off to stare at my suitcase until I figure out what I'm missing. Toodles.
-Lauren

hummingbirds buzzing about

It is so nice to watch hummingbirds in the cool of the morning sunrise. They buzz each other and bounce off each other all to claim a spot on the feeder. Even though there are three or four other open spots they feel they need to claim the feeder as theirs. I'm thinking about how we as christians sometimes want to claim we are best at this talent or that just for the sake of it. And then those of us who let others do the "buzzing" because there are plenty of spots and someone will step up. lol. right now i wish i was a hummingbird fighting for a spot on the feeder. No strength, but a desire to be energetic and alive with spark. God is quicck to remind me that He's going to get me through this and maybe next year I'll be encouraging someone else to move forward and that they are in God's angels hands. Father is so faithful and humble. He wants a relationship with us, you know a little chat here and there a little (maybe a lot of listening)silence on our part. Lets listen to Him today and see what He wantsto tell us. In the meantime, i'm going to water my plants and listen...Chemo today. pray no nausea. Love you guys. Doris

son(sun)rise

From Doris--
Well, it took me a few minutes to find Word but here I am. My morning has been pleasant so far. Woke up early around 6ish and and had my coffee before watering my plants. The son(sun)rise was beautiful and got to chat with Holy Spirit for a little while. Took my meds and had a nice quiet time. Its always good to spend quiet time in the morning with the Father. We don’t have to say anything, just listen to the beauty that surrounds us. I was just thinking of all your messages and how encouraging they are to me. God has always been faithful in surrounding me with kind people. Please keep my youngest sister in your prayers. She has to take good care of herself and I pray God will surround her with just the right people, like Nilda (my middle sister). I want to go see her next week but first I need a little more strength.. She lives in Lawrenceville and it’s a long drive for me. She’s stronger than me so I know she’ll bounce back quickly. Praise God for that! I’m working on a puzzle today just to keep my mind busy. Its really pretty with lots of flowers.

Well, I have my next chemo, Tuesday afternoon and radiation on my chest on Wednesday. So keep praying I will get stronger and can handle the chemo. Its good talking with you guys. Please forgive me if I forgot anyone on the list. But if you feel I did, pass it on. Prayers are like insence before the Lord, the more the better. Love you all,
Doris
Psalm 91

Next day

Hey it's Lauren. So here we have a picture of mom and two of her lovely friends who came over to visit this morning. Needless to say, the chemo treatments went well yesterday and other than the normal side effects, she's doing great! Thanks for the picture Sheila, I stole it off Facebook as soon as you put it up...

In other news, my aunt (mom's younger sister) who had surgery on Wednesday is doing really well, at home and recovering. Thanks for your prayers for her also!

Now it's just time to rest rest rest. And do mind-blowing 1000 piece Thomas Kinkade puzzles and eat pizza. If you have any other ideas of fun things we can do around the house that don't require you to strain your eyes (mom has lots of headaches and is a little light sensitive right now), do tell. Any good online sermons you like, or books on tape or origami?



Save the origami for tomorrow we shall. Good night and keep praying always.

Good Morning Sonshine!

Father, I am grateful for another day of your precious sunshine. I slept great! I was up with the birds and watering my garden which was a little dry. Terry, has done a wonderful job taking care of things around here while Lauren runs all over town with me. Tommy is working hard at school making sure things go smoothly for graduation. Praise God for the cool, dry weather which helps me get out and literally water my plants personally. This is my best time with the Lord. My head doesn't hurt too much today but I do not look forward to chemo this afternoon. I'm smilling a lot and reading up on facebook reading your notes.
Friends, God is with me every step of the way. I can feel His strong hand in mine, guiding my steps. It is good to walk with the Lord. Keep praying for headaches to dissapear and fever not to return. Love you all and thanks for all the cards, notes, meals and particularly prayers. Blessins, Doris

True wealth

Hey it's Lauren here. Mom is down for the count tonight... as I thought I would be at about 8pm tonight, but I fought it.

We made it back home today. We were told we could go at about 7:30am, and we finally got out of there around 2pm today. Needless to say, we were ready to get the heck out.

The doctors were never able to figure out what the fevers were caused by, but since mom was able to go 48 hours without a fever, she was allowed to leave. They think it may have been a reaction to the chemo.

However, tomorrow we go back to get some more chemo to her head, so pray that she gets tons of rest tonight and that she's ready for it. Our appointment is at 3:45 so if you think about it, pray that it goes well. The worst part is usually right afterwards.. well now that I think about it, I have no idea what the worst part will be, but we'll just pray the chemo does its job and mom stays strong. She really does take it all so gracefully.

Being in a hospital that long makes you grateful for the health you have. It also made me realize how fragile life can be. I ran into some old friends in the parking lot last night, and frankly, that's the last place you want to see someone you haven't seen in years. It's usually not good news you have to share. But it's real. It helped me stop thinking about just me and what mom's going through and see that my old friend's mom was also going through something.

My mom called that old family friend while we were pacing the room, anxious to get out of there, because she said that she felt like the Holy Spirit had put her on her heart. It was beautiful. Mom prayed with her and encouraged her and I have no idea what happened on the other end of the line after they hung up, but I was so glad she did it.

Lessons of the day:
1) Be grateful for your health today.
2) When the Holy Spirit puts someone on your heart, you better get in touch with that person, cause there's a reason for it.
3) It's impossible to sleep in hospitals.

This girl's going to sleep. Thank you all for your prayers and cards and flowers and rental cars and messages. Everyone's been so wonderful.

*Oh yes. I was supposed to go back to Spain today, but I changed it to next Wednesday. I'll be there for 15 days, in case you were wondering. Maybe you weren't, but now you know.

Good night.

One of the nurses came early today (at 5:30am) to greet us with a cheerful "Good morning" but I don't even know if anyone should be allowed to say that any earlier than 8am.

They say that tomorrow we will hopefully be able to go home if the fevers hold off. So far so good. But today was good with several walks, some blogging, and some hanging out with people who came by to visit, but now since the day began so early, it's time for bed again cause you know they're just going to do the same thing to us tomorrow.

But here is Psalm 91, a psalm we've been reading almost every day since we got here...

Mom's side of the story

From Mom:

Well, three weeks ago I was glad to run my first 5k in over 7 years and was preparing to run , drumrull please"drurururururummmmmm, The Peachtree Road race!!!!! But today i am at eastside medical here in Snellville recuperating from cancer in my big head! Needless to say doctor came in and says that after an all out effort with chemo directly poured in to my head I am doing amazingly well (you know MY God creator, ancient of Days working) in putting my head back together again.

Details as follows: not guaranteed in what type of order since my brain has been playing games with my head. I'd had random headaches before the race but thought it was migraines returning from my youth and oncoming hot weather, so i dismissed them with tylenol. But the morning of the race I had one that blinded my left side. So prayed to God to get me through the 5k race and I did! But by my medical visit with my oncologist the following thursday a dear friend Mary Ann insisted I mentioned the headaches to the dr.s nurse since i didn't have a direct appointment with him, so my dear friend insisted the message be delivered and 24 hours later I was diagnosed with with cancer in my brain's outer shell, which is still safe and treatable with chemo. So now I have a sort of port on my head where they can directly apply the chemo and it seems to be working because the numbers went from 70 to 7 up there! PRAISE GOD FOR HE'S GOOD AND FAITHFUL. AND AS I THANK HIM for his mercies I ask you to pray for my youngest sister who is at this moment coming out of breast surgery. fighting for her life, for she too has breast cancer for the first time, but My faithful God. the Ancient of Days, My Redeemer will protect her and cover her in prayers and compassion. Pray with love and compassion because if this prayer gets back to her I want her to know its a brother/sister praying for a brother/sister in need. and Jesus clearly said whatever we ask in His name...

oh yeah

So all this means, I'm in Snellville/Madison/Atlanta right now. Details... I forget them. And I probably will be until next week. Pray I can figure all of this out. Quick.

We'll try this...

A lot can happen in three weeks. Three weeks ago my mom ran in a a 5k race and won it. Granted, she was the only one in the "Ladies 50-55" category who ran, but she ran it and she won it. Got the medal and stood beside the Chick-fil-A cow while her pictures were taken. I was in Salamanca, Spain practicing for my last concert there and getting ready to head home after living there for 3 years. My dad was sending me pictures of my mom's race, my brother was probably was probably shooting a new music video with Lupe Fiasco at a local carwash in Hotlanta.



But that was three weeks ago.

A lot can happen in three weeks, life can change in three weeks. Mom was fighting cancer three weeks ago, but she's fighting more of it now.

I figured maybe the best way to keep you up to date on what's going on it to blog it. I'd been trying to write in my journal everyday, but since I changed my plans and came home from Spain a little early, that plan went out the window. Onto an online journal. ZANGA! Ok probably not.

I was on the front porch reading on Saturday, because we had already watched part one and two of "The Neverending Story" and mom's imagination was probably tired, and I thought I could try and combat the Emptiness by reading and thus saving Fantasia.

My dad came outside to tell me that mom had a temperature of 103 and that her oncologist had told him to bring her into the ER. So off we went to Snellville, Georgia around 6pm that night. We've been here ever since.

The doctor's were worried that it might be an infection, maybe meningitis, because of the Ommaya Reservior she now has in her head and the chemo she's been receiving the past two weeks. But it's not that. And after more tests, they didn't find any more cancer cells in her brain fluid or spinal fluid. They can't really find anything. She's still sick though. Just last night she got another fever, so as I type this, I'm waiting for nurse Beverly to come and take her to have a full body CAT scan.

Mom's sleeping now (I think), or she's just trying to get out of playing Speed Scrabble with me any longer.

Flash forward to 7 hours later--- The doctor came in and has told us that they can't figure out what is causing her on and off again fevers, and that she has to stay here until she hasn't had a fever for 24 hours. Here's to hoping tonight will be a good night. But today was a good day and she's doing a lot better, so we'll see.

And the true test will see to how many days in a row I will write on this blog.

As for these pictures. The nurses yesterday were named Joan, Jessy and Carmen. Then tonight the nurse walks in and says her name is Sophie. If Nurse Hernan and Glaucia show up tomorrow, I'll flip out.






Also, hospitals should have pianos in them. I think people might be happier hearing some music around here.

Also, also, who knew Mumford and Sons is the perfect soundtrack for the backcountry roads of Georgia?

K. Hasta tomorrow.