The Good Fight

Hear, O God, the prayers of all thy children everywhere: for forgiveness and healing, for courage, for faith; prayers for the needs of others; prayers for peace among the desperate nations. Whether thou givest or withholdest what we ask, whether thou answerest us in words that burn like fire or in silence that burns like fire, increase in us the knowledge that thou art always more near to us than breathing, that thy will for us is love.
And deep beneath all our asking, so deep beneath that we are all but deaf to it ourselves, hear O God, the secret song of every human heart praising thee for being what thou art, rejoicing with the morning stars that thou art our God and we thy children. Make strong and wild this secret song within until it bursts forth at last to thy glory and our saving. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

I haven't known what to pray throughout this whole ordeal, but I read this prayer on Monday morning, just after Mom passed away. He has heard all of our prayers, and Mom fought the best and most beautiful fight of her life. She left nothing unsaid, my brother and I always knew how much she loved us and how proud of us she was. She loved my dad with all of her heart. She loved Jesus more than all of us.

As I sit here trying to write this, typing things then erasing everything and wondering how to end this blog well, there's a hummingbird hovering at my window. I kid you not. I'm pretty sure she arranged that.

I believe in Jesus more than I ever have before, because of her faith and I got to tell her that last week. Nothing was left unsaid, nothing could have been done more gracefully. She taught us to love and pray and everything falls into place from there.

Psalm 71 is God's promise to all of us who loved her.

In you, LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
turn your ear to me and save me.
Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.
For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD,
my confidence since my youth.
From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.
I will ever praise you.
I have become a sign to many;
you are my strong refuge.
My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.

Do not cast me away when I am old;
do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
For my enemies speak against me;
those who wait to kill me conspire together.
They say, “God has forsaken him;
pursue him and seize him,
for no one will rescue him.”
Do not be far from me, my God;
come quickly, God, to help me.
May my accusers perish in shame;
may those who want to harm me
be covered with scorn and disgrace.

As for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.

My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
of your saving acts all day long—
though I know not how to relate them all.
I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign LORD;
I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.
Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your mighty acts to all who are to come.

Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
you who have done great things.
Who is like you, God?
Though you have made me see troubles,
many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
You will increase my honor
and comfort me once more.

I will praise you with the harp
for your faithfulness, my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
Holy One of Israel.
My lips will shout for joy
when I sing praise to you—
I whom you have delivered.
My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
have been put to shame and confusion.

Amen.

Ain't no mountain high enough

Hey it's Lauren here. It's been a while since I wrote on here, but that's because mom was doing a great job taking care of the blog herself, wouldn't you say? Today she will be dictating.... but first I will tell you what's going on.

About 48 hours ago we showed up at Eastside Medical Center for the weekly visit to the oncologist for chemo. After seeing the doctor, he wanted to admit her immediately to get an MRI and CT scan to make sure the cancer had not spread to certain other areas, and after running these tests it was not found in those areas. We are still waiting for a few more test results and will find out tomorrow (most likely?).

As for today, mom just got some of the fluid drained that was around her lungs to help her breathe better, and now she's resting. We're waiting on her sisters to come deliver some Puerto Rican delicacies and then maybe we'll dance around to some salsa music for the rest of the day. Probably not, the room is entirely too small.

Mom wants to thank everyone who has been praying for all of us. For reaching out to Terry and me and Tom. For the letters, cards, visits, flowers and encouragement.

I'm thankful for all of you too and I would just ask for you all to continue praying. Psalm 91 is still our prayer through all of this.

And bring us some coffee cause it's terrible here.