Thank you

Okay guys, I want to thank you for your prayers. I'm not as tired and I have done dishes by hand (which I enjoy). I spoke to the doctor about the fatigue and apparently it takes time to bounce back from these treatments. I finished radiation but I'm still doing head chemo, so my body is trying to recuperate. I'm ready to recuperate now! I have shared with my friends and family. They understand my frustration but also remind me that I have been doing two different treatments which have attacked cancer cells from different directions. They say I'm doing well considering.

I guess we have all had similar situations where we want God to work now and according to our will :) But He knows best and His timing is perfect. And I Love Him for that.

I'm peeling potatoes for dinner (which means some of my strength is back) It feels good . Lauren drove me to the Dr's office and then on to krogers! Yay, I didn't have to go straight home! It feels good to get out! Thank you Lord for the energy and strength.

Psalms 121:1-2
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Blessings,
Doris

Struggles

I’ve struggled with my faith the past few days simply because things aren’t going the way I would prefer. I know the Lord promised he would be with me in these difficult times but as a human being I want this to be over. I’m relieved there is no more radiation but I still feel some of the side effects, like dizziness and I sometimes can’t see out of my left eye.

I have to make time to sit alone with Him so that I may hear his voice. When I watch the birds I can sometimes (I'm sure I miss His message many a times) see and understand what He’s trying to tell me. “All in His time” and it makes me smile. I don’t know why but when I listen carefully I know I’m going to be alright. I shall overcome.

I need your continued prayers for strength, courage, faith, joy, peace, and perseverance not only for me but my loved ones.


This verse says it all to me: Trusting in my own mental understanding becomes a hindrance to complete trust in God. I must be willing to ignore and leave my feelings behind. I must will to believe. But this can never be accomplished without my forceful, determined effort to separate myself from my old ways of looking at things. I must surrender myself completely to God. (My Utmost for His Highest)
Have a blessed day,
Doris

His will, again?

May He equip you with all you need for doing His will. May He produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him. (Hebrews 13:21 NLT)
Just wanted to tell you that the Dr's visit went well. The treatment was pretty smooth but I was a little disappointed that the we had to do another test to see how often we will continue the chemo. Please pray for good results next week and for His continued strength as we move forward in this journey. My doctor is not a believer so I know he needs to know Jesus. We've talked about my faith but the Dr. is very good at changing the subject. I pray the moment will come when he will accept my words ( I mean His word). I pray for the right words and the right moment. I will continue to witness to him and hoping the Dr. will come to know Christ soon.

As I sit here thinking, what am I going to write about, I recall a devotion that talks about His will and how and when he works through us. Some of us are employed in places we never thought of. Yet when I hear stories from you I know God is using you in everyday things. I don’t know how to explain. But when I think back to my last job with special needs students I know with all my heart that was where God wanted me at that time. There so many events that changed me and hopefully changed those around me. I guess what I’m saying is as I said a few days ago;we are in a special journey. Ask God to open your eyes to your surroundings and give you wisdom and courage to do His will. Ask him to show you what He is doing through you and around you and take it all in.! It may be something simple or something you never thought would happen. It is sweet to see God at work! Blessings!

Grateful

Grateful

Hi guys! How is everyone doing today! I am having a fantastic morning! We had a beautiful morning and I got to water my plants. I know, I don’t get tired of talking about the garden  .

Today I want thank God for our family and how they have stepped forward and helped Terry and I. Terry’s sisters and their pampering, and my sisters and their home cooking (I don’t like cooking so when they come over I can have them cook me a favorite meal). They pamper me and will do anything for me. It is sweet!

I thank God for my siblings because as we grow older we are learning to appreciate each other. I must insert this in here, if you have a sibling you don’t have a relationship with, make one. Ask God to help both you surrender your pride and to help you be a humble witness to your loved one. Read on…

My siblings and I, as we grow older have open up to each other (even just a tiny bit means a lot to me) and are calling and checking in on each other. Praise God! This means so much to me; it brings tears to my eyes. We are sharing things we didn’t know about each other and of course that brings more tears. I believe most of us have chosen to forgive and forget which is best both spiritually and emotionally.

Back when I gave my life to Christ in 1992, I thought it was going to be easy, since I believed I was a pretty good person and the person who hurt me was gone. Ha! The Lord has a great sense of humor and was checking to see if I had one as well (which I didn’t, and still don’t. I just don’t get jokes. Lauren has to sometimes tell people to explain because I’m just not going to get it). Anyway, I asked God what I needed to change. Well, be careful what you ask the Father, ‘because he is honest and will tell you. He kept telling me to apologize to my husband. I didn’t get it. What the heck for? It wasn’t my fault, which by the way was my favorite phrase.

Well to make a long, long, painful story short. God wanted me to apologize to my husband. Whether it was my fault or his, I was a believer and needed to be the first to apologize. My poor husband was usually an innocent bystander when I needed to blame someone. After years of my grumbling, kicking and complaining, none of which God appreciated, I’m sure. I finally learned through the power of the Holy Spirit (I can now honestly say, I could not move forward in my walk unless I surrendered to God).

I did learn to apologize (which I still do  ). I felt so much better about myself but mostly I felt closer to God. There were many a tearful night of repentance asking God to help me be closer to Him, but the more I read the bible the more I understood that I had to put myself aside and only then could I feel his “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control”

Today I’m grateful to God for His faithfulness. In retrospect if I had kept picking on my husband we may not have made it this far. My faith wouldn’t have grown and I wouldn’t have so many caring loving Christian people encouraging me with the truth. I thank God for all of you prayer warriors. I’m grateful God is with me right now and I’m thankful for His promise of healing.

Blessings,
Doris

I started out a little tired today and don't know why. The pain meds takes about an hour to kick in so I got up took it and went back to bed. I want to do things around the house, like laundry and dishes (i do like doing dishes). Terry is doing a great job taking care of me, especially with his sisters helping out (they are wonderful). They do laundry and dishes and are always pampering me. Terry is a good man, I thank God for him. It hasn't been easy but the Lord has helped us every step of the way.

My sister will be coming to stay for a few days this sunday. I'm looking forward to that as well. I never thought having a big family would come in this handy.

We had a tornado come mighty close to our house two days ago. I've never seen the wind blow so hard, ever. The top of a pine tree behind our house broke off and thank God it fell straight down. It missed out our by about ten feet. Thank God we won't have to worry about that!

Everyone have a great day today. Blessings,
Doris

prayer

Prayer is a conversation with God. It is not because he feels sorry for us, I don’t think so, but because of salvation. It is not because we deserve it. He doesn’t owe a thing. This morning devotion says “Prayer is not simply getting things from God— that is only the most elementary kind of prayer. Prayer is coming into perfect fellowship and oneness with God. If the Son of God has been formed in us through regeneration (see Galatians 4:19), then He will continue to press on beyond our common sense and will change our attitude about the things for which we pray.”

I want to know more about prayer. There are moments when I have no clue where to begin. I find myself reading a book of prayer, or reading the devotional “My Utmost for His Highest” which has been an inspiration to me for many years or even “Prayers That Avail Much” by Germaine Copeland. Some people say that they have to have me pray so that God will hear their prayers. That scares me! I am simply Doris and I have no direct line to God. I believe we have to ask in prayer but I also remember reading that Holy Spirit who dwells in us prays for us when we can’t utter a word. So pray. My Utmost for His Highest says “Asking means that our will must be involved. Whenever Jesus talked about prayer, He spoke with wonderful childlike simplicity.”

I finished my radiation therapy.I won’t see them again unless the oncologist says otherwise.

The oncologist will do another brain fluid sample next week and will decided if I shall continue once a week chemo or go to once a month (Of course I pray neither, but will settle for once a month) . The doctors were concern about my weight but I’ve gained two pounds (thanks to milkshakes) so that is very good. We loved happy hour at Steak and Shake.
Yay!!!

Blessings,
Doris

The journey

Okay you guys, I have to share this devotion with you today, because The Lord spoke to my heart when I read it this morning. To be honest wth you, yesterday was one of those days when as a believer I was having a little trouble believing my own words. I asked myself a few times , why so long? Its been over a year now. How long can I do this. I'm an active person and laying around reading a book its just not what I'd like to be doing, honestly. But if I really think about it and try to understand my situation I just won't get anywhere fast. You know what I mean? I love Jesus and when I sit quietly and read His word (and this amazing devotions) I find that it really doesn't matter. At least I think so. The disciplels must have thought Jesus was nuts when he did some of the things he did. But in the end they understood and used their expriences to honor Him. To me that is so cool. So read the following devotion and think what you want. I'm sticking with Jesus and nobody is going to change my mind. :) I'm no disciple and I never will be but when someone tells me that a word or two from the blog have been and inspiration it gives me great joy. Maybe that's it. I'm no writer, as you may be able to tell but when the Lord inspires a word in my heart I have to put it down and hopefully He is glorified and someone is touched.

"We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious."

So there. The journey is just as important as the goal. I love all of you and I'm grateful to God for your prayers. Have blessed day and write back.

prayer request

Hi guys, I hope everyone has a great weekend. I am sitting here trying to have breakfast, which I find hard to do because food just isn't tasting well this days. The doctor says i've lost ten pounds and cannot loose any more weight. Its ironic because I have been trying to loose this much weight for years and now that I have the doctor says is not healthy for me. I haven't weighted this much since I was in high school. So, I'm asking for your prayers that my appetite returns and that I may be able to taste food again. Things can actually look good but the taste its just not the same. I can sometimes taste my coffee but not every day. It must be the meds i'm taking. Thank you for prayers and encouragement. Blessings!

transplanting

You ever move a plant from one place to another place you just know is going to be perfect for it. I do this all the time and this morning I was admiring my transplants asking the Lord to bless them because I think they look great just where they are and I hope He agrees and helps them grow. I was also thinking about how life can change so quickly and without your permission. I think of young Joseph and how he ended up in jail, yet his faith didn't falter. And Job, man, did the man have trials! But his faith got him through. You ever wonder about Paul? He had everything he wanted but after he became a believer his life change dramatically. Instead of the pursuer he became the pursue (not sure on the spelling). Did he know what he was getting into? Yet through it all he always glorified his lord and savior Jesus Christ.

This morning, I was having one of those moments, thinking to myself. Why is this happening to me? Did I do something wrong? Are You trying to teach me something new my Lord? It hurts so deeply to see my loved ones suffer because of my situation. But then I wonder about the times I have asked God to use me for His purpose, so that He glorified, more of Him and less of me. I'm not saying Iam one of those amazing people from the bible. No way! But it humbles me to think that God has chosen me to glorify His name during my illness and that He reveals His majesty to me every morning when we sit and talk. It gives me great pleasure to know people are reading this simple notes and are encouraged to trust Him through difficult times. Because God is not a "good times" God. He is an all the time God. Faithful and reliable. He does not do things according to our will because He knows best. So don't get angry with him when He answers your prayers in His way. Instead, ask Him for wisdom and discernment and for understanding. And praise Him because He did answer you prayer. The time will come when you will actually understand how He works and be grateful.

I think I am being transplanted and I'm having a difficult time adjusting. But the gardener sees the potential in me and He's watching over me. So I'm going to trust Him with my life and I'm excited about what's ahead.

If you feel a little transplanting going on in your life right now. Please know that the maker of everything may be working in your life to make it better not only for you but for many others who will benefit from God's work in your life. Trust Him even when it hurts. He's there crying with you by your side. Blessings to you.

Good morning

Just came in from watering the plants (it is hot out there)and feeling pretty good. The radiation yesterday made me a little tired which meant nothing got done. But today the meds are working and my energy level is much better. No dr appointments today, which i'm glad for. Maybe I'll get to go out to lunch, just to get out of the house. Keep praying for complete healing and more energy. It is hard to sit around when you want to be busy doing chores. Terry and Lauren are doing a great job keeping up with the house but as wife, mom and woman I just need to have something to do. I will accomplish something in good time, I keep telling myself. In the meantime, I will trust in the Lord to move me forward with his peace, strength and courage. Everyone have a wonderful day.

I finished!

We finished the Peachtree Road Race; Lauren, Laura and I.



We walked it and loved it! It was hot but people didn’t seem to mind for they had their mind set on the finish line. I saw some interesting things. A group of young men dressed as Hawaiian girls zigzagging along Peachtree. They were drinking something, and I bet it was not water. I saw a 90 year old pass me with a t-shirt that said “I’m 90 and I’m passing you” that was adorable. He had no help from anyone. He was walking and having fun.



There were some women with him probably daughters and granddaughter. There were people speaking in other languages. Can you imagine how many countries are represented at the Peachtree?

Sorry I didn’t post earlier, but I’m just getting over the aching body. On Monday after the race they had to take me to the tent because apparently I wasn’t sweating so they wrapped this cold wet towel around my neck, which literally send me into internal shock. My body woke up quickly and I told the young nurse I had a long way to go and needed to get better now. She smiled and said you’re not leaving until your pulse is normal. So I laid there a few more minutes praying my pulse would get back to normal.

Why did I want to leave right away? Because I thought we were going to have to walk all the way back to the starting line to catch MARTA. Silly me, I was having a discussion with God where I kept telling him, I did not sign up for 12 miles, Lord. This will definitely put a damper in my celebration. But as I mentioned this to one of the nurses, she assured me I did not. She told me there was a MARTA station ten minutes from where I was, so I wouldn’t have to worry about that! Well, praise God! That alone brought my pulse back to normal and I was ready to march once again. I know Lauren and Laura and my dear husband were worried about me. After all they were there for me every step of the way and to see me falter after the race would definitely be sad.

Another thing about the Peachtree is that they have music everywhere. Lauren and I stopped and danced at one place. It was fun! Music can make you forget you troubles and I tell you at that moment my legs were starting to feel like jello, but I wanted to make the best of the situation and it worked. I had fun dancing with my girl and a burst of energy to make it to the end.



6.2 miles can seem like an eternity especially when you are at the 5 mile marker. But God is good and I have never been so excited to see a finish line before. Only it wasn’t , it was only the 6 mile marker. I thought to myself “ I can do this,” but it honestly seemed so far away. Terry joined us and walked with me the rest of the way. What a good husband, hah! Ladies, we’ve been married 31 years, by the way. Never in my wildest dreams did I see myself in such an interesting situation with my dear husband by my side. He’s a keeper!



I had some good news from my oncologist yesterday as well. He says there are no cancer cells in my head! So celebrate with me, no cancer cells!!! He will keep an eye on me for a few weeks but says that the chemos will only be once a week then every other week and then phased out completely! Yay! Praise God! Maybe I’ll get to drive sometime soon. The radiation is going well and I only have three to go. Dr. says they are working rather well, so he’s pleased with the results. I can see a change but he says the radiation works well after the application and we’ll look for better results in the near future. I pray and ask you to pray for a quick healing.



So now I can say with great excitement that I accomplished another goal in my life. I thank God for helping me through it. For strength, courage, faith and a family that loves me and encourages me to try new things. Bless you all for your words of encouragement and prayers. Love you all. Check out the rest of the pictures in facebook. I think we got them all posted.

Big Day tomorrow

Okay guys, I'm so excited! Tomorrow is the big day. The Ptree Road race. You have to pray for Lauren and I. I have been a little tired lately (side effects of the radiation) but I know once I take my meds my strength comes back. Running has always been my thing (even though I'm a slow runner), It takes me away from the cares of this world and it puts me in contact with God in an amazing way. Some of you know about runners high. Well mine is like a feeling that Jesus is running there along side of me chatting about "things". Can you see Him in tennis shoes and shorts, its kinda funny! But it feels good to know that He is there with you in the simplest of things.
Anyway, We gotta be up and going early tomorrow, so please be praying for us all morning long. There's going to be a lot of people there and I gotta keep my distance (haha), you know, germs. Remember you gotta pray all morning for me and Lauren. I'm going to need strength, stamina, faith, hope, you know all that good stuff. I have felt everyone's prayers lately. I know I couldn't have made it without them.

Lauren is out running this morning because she really hasn't had a chance to run in weeks. So she needs to catch up. Oh to be young again!

My transplants (remember I moved some plants the other day)seem okay this morning, so I hope they make it through the summer. I'll keep you updated.

Talk to you guys soon. God bless.
Doris

times gone by

Good morning! Sorry I missed yesterday. I was having a wonderful morning in the garden. I actually did some gardening. The weather was so nice I decided to move some plants and get my hands down and dirty. I wanted flowers where I could see them from my bedroom window. So I gather all my energy and moved the plants where I wanted them. I had to do some squatting (which I'm paying for today) to get the flowers in just the right location. They look very pretty this morning and with just a bit of care they should do well.
This morning while I watered my flowers I was thinking back to high school. I think high school its challenging enough as it is but when you have family problems and you feel responsible for your loved ones its really heavy duty. We were seven kids I was the oldest girl with the motherly syndrome. Bossy, do what I say not as I do bossy. I felt I needed to be an example but I was so screwed up myself I wasn't sure what to do. I met a girl in middle school. An american girl who sized me up and befriended me out of the goodness of her heart. I didn't know what to make of her. She was brutally honest, pretty and had a mouth on her, it some times scared me. I was shy but when she was around I could actually find words and believe me they weren't pretty words. We laughed a lot and I really think I got in trouble because of her. You know, I got to blame somebody. She brought the best and the worst out of me and if it hadn't been for her crazy sense of humor and view on life I wouldn't had made it through high school. We did not get to graduate from the same high school because of personal difficulties in our individual lives, but I will never forget the fun times I had with her. God has always blessed me with amazing friends. I don't have a lot of close friends but the ones I have are very special.

This girl had so many problems herself but somehow she put them aside when we were together and we had fun. My siblings often wonder where I dug up this "american" girl from. Let me explain the "american" label thing. When you are from a nother country and come here, you sort of, at the beginning, label everyone as american because, and this was my silly way of thinking. They are different and have some strange bad habits that you have to be careful not to get attached to. You know, you watch tv back in your country and those crazy americans do some some crazy stuff, we wouldn't be caught dead doing. How ignorant!
Anyway, I cannot go into details about some of the silly things we did (you know, I was youth sponsor for awhile there) but I just simply want to say thank you to my dearest friend, Lauren.

Anyway, do you remember back to a friend like that? Someone who was willing to do anything for you? I thank God for people like Lauren.

God bless all of you.